I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
