i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize