just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
