At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Randomize
