my shit smells like andre
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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