dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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