For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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