He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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