Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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