Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
