I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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