I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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