we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
