They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
