she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
It's just like the Real World with babies
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
