well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
