Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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