How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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