I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
