Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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