I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
