dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
