Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
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