you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
