So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
