Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
