Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
