he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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