Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
