If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
