I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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