Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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