I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
