I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
