You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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