they need to just BURY HIM!
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
