Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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