Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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