Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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