Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
