ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
