they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
