there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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