do herpes really smell.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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