Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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