dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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