guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
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