I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
