i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
