DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
We have so much sex to catch up on
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
