Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Randomize
