that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
