if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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