Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
