Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
