i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize