I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Is her dick bigger than yours?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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