ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
