Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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