just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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