Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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