Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
