haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I think my vagina is haunted
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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