my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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