i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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