best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
